Monday, November 8, 2010

3) Use strategies for revising

Original: My grandpa passed away a few years ago but I still miss him. He would be suprised at how much I grew up.

Revised: Now, as I think back to that time, being with my grandpa, I feel a deep longing to be back there with him, smiling while he was holding me. He has already passed away years ago but I still feel like he should be here with me, seeing how I've grown up into a young woman.

1 comment:

  1. I thought of how to go deeper into the subject and make it meaningful. I wanted it to be personal.

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